I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
