its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
