i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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