My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize