god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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