You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
