I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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