Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
