He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The best revenge is premature balding
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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