My first STD was from a foam party
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
