Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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