Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
