Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
