this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
