I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You ruined the universe
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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