This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize