its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
