Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So. Much. Porn.
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