I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize