He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
