This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
