I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How naked do you want me to be?
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