party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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