all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize