Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Found the puke drawer
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize