bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
