AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
