No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
