A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
