Porn is love you can see.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
