So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
