The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
