I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
