I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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