Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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