Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
