Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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