He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
