As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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