so explain again why im purple
no
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
