How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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