No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
