dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
