Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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