Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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