Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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