my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
