i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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