He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
MIDGETS
????
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
