Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
be right there i have to get my cape
I am one with the molecules
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize