I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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