I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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