I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
