WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
