you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
