is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
