it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How does one acquire holy water?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
