Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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