i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
