My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
