apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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