Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize