I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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