she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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