in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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